Articles Tagged with infidelity

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Dear Carolyn,

I am separated.  We were only married two years before separating. She is having an affair.  I bought my wife a huge engagement ring, which I gave to her before the wedding.  I still owe $25,000 on the ring, which was borrowed before we got married.  We paid on the ring during the marriage out of my earnings.  My ex will not give back the ring.  What are my options?

– Help Me!

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Dear Carolyn,

My ex is all over Facebook about what she did with the kids during Spring Break. She apparently took some young woman with her to babysit so she could spend more time with her boyfriend on the Florida beach. She posted my little boy “buck naked” on the beach on Facebook. She posted her “babysitter—young woman” drinking beer with at least a dozen empty beer cans in the background. She posted a picture of her boyfriend and her entwined on the beach on a blanket. And to top it all off, she posted a picture of her new engagement ring from him, and we are not even divorced. I have filed for custody of the two children. She wants alimony. Are the pictures I downloaded from Facebook admissible? Can I make her remove the nude picture of my son as I am worried about perverts? Do these Facebook pictures help me in my quest for custody and no spousal support? I am frustrated with the whole process.

Dear Frustrated,

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Dear Carolyn,

My wife had an affair, and because I wanted to save the marriage for the children, I forgave her. That was about ten years ago.  Now, it is really not working, and I want out.  The last child has finished high school.  She spends too much money and she will not find a job.  She says I owe her alimony if I leave.  She has the same college degree I do.  Can she get alimony?  What about her affair?

I tried, but….just can’t do it any more….

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By Carolyn J. Woodruff, North Carolina Family Law Specialist

Winston Salem, North Carolina: Malecek v. Williams (2017)

Derek Williams is a Forsyth County doctor who had an affair apparently, or at least allegedly, with his nurse. Playing doctor-nurse games got them in trouble with the nurse’s husband, Marc Malecek. The nurse’s then-husband Marc sued Derek for alienation of affection and criminal conversation.

What is alienation of affection? This heart balm tort is something like an automobile accident where a marriage is rear-ended. This alienation of affection requires a spouse to prove that he or she had a genuine marital relationship and that marriage relationship was interfered with by a third party paramour, causing damages. What is criminal conversation? That is simpler. That is sex with someone’s spouse creating damages. Frequently the damages might be one dollar, which is required to reward if sex is found with someone else’s spouse. Of course, in North Carolina damages for alienation of affection and criminal conversation has been as much as $30 million.

Interestingly enough, Derek Williams was sued by Marc Malecek in May of 2016. The Honorable Todd Burke dismissed the lawsuit indicating that alienation of affection and criminal conversation were unconstitutional. There had been several other cases wherein judges had found or not found alienation of affection and criminal conversation to be unconstitutional.

For now, the North Carolina Court of Appeals has spoken on the constitutionality of alienation of affection and criminal conversation. These heart balm torts are constitutional, according to Court of Appeals Judge Richard Deitz. Continue reading →

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Dear Carolyn,

My husband is having an affair with his secretary and I want to get that woman.  I kicked him out of our home on New Year’s Day when he made an excuse that he had to go by the office for something (something? Right?), and my detective caught them red-handed.  I hear about alienation of affection.  Do I qualify?  How much do you think I’ll get?

 

Carolyn Answers:

While you need to have a family lawyer go over your evidence, you may have a claim for both criminal conversation AND alienation of affection against the secretary.  Alienation of affection requires (1) that you and your spouse had a genuine marital relationship; (2) that your spousal love was destroyed; (3) that the secretary caused the breakup of the genuine marital relationship; and (4) that you have damages.

Criminal conversation does not have to do with any crime we actually punish today. The requirements for criminal conversation are two-fold:  (1) sex (2) with someone’s spouse.  That’s it.

No one can really say how much you might get. Juries generally decide these issues, and juries can really vary and view these issues differently.  It is attention-grabbing that there have been some very large awards in North Carolina reported in both the North Carolina Supreme Court as well as the North Carolina Court of Appeals and literature.

Affairs also can affect alimony, as in the question below:

Continue reading →

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By Carolyn J. Woodruff, JD, CPA, CVA—North Carolina Family Law Specialist

CarolynOne of my favorite stars is Gwen Stefani. She manages a life of motherhood, career with celebrity status, and fashion.  And, now she has just completed a divorce with her thirteen-year marriage to Gavin Rossdale, which produced Apollo (almost two); Kingston (age 9) and Zuma (age 7).  Rumors swirl that Gavin had an affair with the nanny, and Gwen apparently found nude photos of the nanny and plans for Gavin and the nanny to meet for sex—all found on the family iPad. The information on the family iPad yielded an abrupt end to this marriage.  Gavin had naughty behavior that uploaded from his iPhone to the cloud and downloaded to the linked family iPad.

Yes, this unintentional spying could happen in the North Carolina divorce. Why?  The iCloud (or any cloud), iPad, iPhone and other electronic devices are everywhere, and they link to each other.  While perhaps we all know this, we are trusting, I believe or maybe simply not observant.   There is the substantial risk that the children could see the naughty electronic evidence.

Continue reading →