Articles Posted in Divorce Recovery

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Recently, Kiplinger’s reported on “gray divorce,” or divorce among couples that have been married for 30-plus years. It pointed out the emotional and financial drains of a divorce, even when couples are older and presumed to have more security. Couples may find divorce tough if they’ve been married for so long that their assets and future plans are tied together. Often both spouses wind up living on half of the income they anticipated but many of the same expenses when they have a late-in-life divorce.

 

North Carolina is an equitable distribution state in which the court divides a couple’s property in a way that is equitable or fair, but this does not necessarily mean property is divided evenly in half. The court starts by presuming a 50-50 division is fair, but either party can submit evidence to rebut this presumption.

 

The thirteen factors the court may consider when deciding whether to deviate from an even split are: each spouse’s income and debts, support obligations in earlier marriages, how long the marriage was and the ages of the spouses, parent’s needs with the custody of a child and use of marital home, whether pension and retirement benefits are expected and whether they will be separate property, each spouse’s contributions to acquiring the marital estate, contributions made by one spouse to the other’s career or education, contributions that increased the value of the separate property, whether the divisible property was liquid or non-liquid, the difficulty of assessing interest in assets or business, each party’s tax consequences, actions by either party that increased, wasted or devalued assets, and other factors the court believes are property and just.

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

It’s summertime, and that means kids around Greensboro will be beating the heat. But they probably won’t be hanging out at the pool or lake like their parents did. It’s more likely they will be huddled around their electronic devices playing video games or watching YouTube. The World Health Organization has recently classified addiction to video games as a certified mental disorder. Our children are particularly susceptible during the summer months when they are out of school and have less structured activities.

The signs of video game addiction are disturbingly quite similar to other addictions such as exercise addiction or sex addiction. If your child has difficulty talking or even thinking about anything other than video games, then they might have a problem. The problem is exacerbated by the gaming designers attempting to make their games psychologically addicting purposely. As with drug and alcohol addictions, they may have such a compulsion to play that they let school work lag and their grooming and hygiene begin to suffer.

In the beginning, gamers may be satisfied to play one or two hours at a time; however as they become more addicted, they crave much longer sessions. Some children have to be physically removed from a game console, or they will play continuously. As the addiction worsens they frequently suffer from significant weight gain or weight loss, sleep disruptions, mood changes, sleep deprivation, Avoiding friends and family members. They may begin lying about the time spent playing video games and start skipping meals. Shoddy work and academic performance should also set off alarm bells.

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

Divorce is never easy. It turns your world upside down. Ending a relationship you thought was to last till death forces you to part is emotionally devastating. When you are a parent, and throw children into that emotional turmoil, then you have to deal with a hurricane of guilt and remorse.

However, we are parents and parents must be strong, we must be there for our kids when they need us. We won’t be legally able to spend as much time with our children as before the divorce, so what time we have must be devoted to them.

I have two children. My first daughter was 9 when left her mother in 2005. I still feel guilty about choosing to leave the home where my child and I formed that bond that a father and daughter share.

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Venn Crawford, non-attorney Marketing Assistant

Looking for a new way to organize or connect? Here are some of the best apps for families.

Apps for Organization

Stridepost – This family managing app features chore lists, allowance trackers, and a family calendar, all of which sync across devices so that the whole family’s on the same page. Parents can add tasks to a child’s to-do list, which the child then receives points for completing. At the end of the week, kids get their “payday” and collect the points, which are redeemable for rewards. Both parents and kids can add rewards. Both kids and parents can add events to the shared family calendar, and family members can keep each other updated using the built-in family chat. (For parents: iOS, Android; for kids: iOS, Android)

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Dear Carolyn,

I am separated.  We were only married two years before separating. She is having an affair.  I bought my wife a huge engagement ring, which I gave to her before the wedding.  I still owe $25,000 on the ring, which was borrowed before we got married.  We paid on the ring during the marriage out of my earnings.  My ex will not give back the ring.  What are my options?

– Help Me!

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Dear Carolyn,

My heart is broken. The mother of my children has bad-mouthed me so much and talked about our nasty divorce to the children so much that the children won’t talk to me or visit with me. She has poisoned their minds. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn, 

We have a small family business. I do all the work with customers; my ex-wife does the bookkeeping. We both own the company as shareholders. We now are now separated. What protections do I need to put in place? She writes checks that are not for business expenses out of the business account.

– Concerned

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Dear Carolyn,

I have tried co-parenting our seven and eleven-year-old, and it is just not working. My psychologist says my ex is probably a narcissist. Every time I try to talk with him or even text him, he turns the discussion into something else.  He seems to have no concept of teamwork. He manipulates the children and that scares me. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers…

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Dear Readers, let me hear from you regarding prescription drug abuse and its effect on your family.  In the second Ask Carolyn today, I touch on the Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne divorce and Prince’s death.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a pilot going through a divorce.  My ex is holding my pilot log books hostage.  I have asked her nicely to please give me the log books, and she simply will not do so.  How do I get my log books back from here in this divorce? Does she have any “marital rights” in my log books?

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Dear Readers,

Internet addiction is here and is real! I would like to hear from you on this topic. Do you know that a Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that two-thirds of parents have no rules on internet use, particularly internet use unrelated to homework and research? Today’s second Ask Carolyn continues a discussion of this topic.

Dear Carolyn,