Articles Posted in Divorce Recovery

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Dear Carolyn,

I am separated.  We were only married two years before separating. She is having an affair.  I bought my wife a huge engagement ring, which I gave to her before the wedding.  I still owe $25,000 on the ring, which was borrowed before we got married.  We paid on the ring during the marriage out of my earnings.  My ex will not give back the ring.  What are my options?

– Help Me!

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Dear Carolyn,

My heart is broken. The mother of my children has bad-mouthed me so much and talked about our nasty divorce to the children so much that the children won’t talk to me or visit with me. She has poisoned their minds. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn, 

We have a small family business. I do all the work with customers; my ex-wife does the bookkeeping. We both own the company as shareholders. We now are now separated. What protections do I need to put in place? She writes checks that are not for business expenses out of the business account.

– Concerned

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Dear Carolyn,

I have tried co-parenting our seven and eleven-year-old, and it is just not working. My psychologist says my ex is probably a narcissist. Every time I try to talk with him or even text him, he turns the discussion into something else.  He seems to have no concept of teamwork. He manipulates the children and that scares me. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers…

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Dear Readers, let me hear from you regarding prescription drug abuse and its effect on your family.  In the second Ask Carolyn today, I touch on the Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne divorce and Prince’s death.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a pilot going through a divorce.  My ex is holding my pilot log books hostage.  I have asked her nicely to please give me the log books, and she simply will not do so.  How do I get my log books back from here in this divorce? Does she have any “marital rights” in my log books?

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Dear Readers,

Internet addiction is here and is real! I would like to hear from you on this topic. Do you know that a Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that two-thirds of parents have no rules on internet use, particularly internet use unrelated to homework and research? Today’s second Ask Carolyn continues a discussion of this topic.

Dear Carolyn,

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Dear Carolyn,

I share custody of our son with my ex-husband. Another school year is about the begin. I dread the issues with homework. As my son gets older and homework gets more important, there has to be something we can do as parents to make sure homework is both done consistently and turned in consistently. My ex is a little more concerned with fun at his house that homework, although he is a pretty good father. What are homework guidelines for sharing custody every other week during the school year?

Carolyn Answers…

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Divorce and its aftermath can be (and usually are) chaotic. Having kids and keeping track of all their things was tough enough, and now you have to coordinate your parenting with someone you may not even want to talk to, much less strategize with. And on top of it all, you have to manage everything on your own. Talk about a trial by fire.

Luckily for you, there’s an app for that. Or several. These apps can’t do it all for you, but they can make things easier.

SquareHub (Free)

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Dear Carolyn,

I am a mother with primary custody of a nine-year-old daughter. The father has visitation. For Christmas, he bought our daughter a smartphone for Christmas, but he did not discuss this with me. He had spyware on the smartphone that allowed him to see her opening the Christmas present.  I thought that he disengaged the spyware after she opened the present, but I just found out that the spyware is still engaged on my daughter’s phone. This smartphone allows him to track everywhere we go.  He told our daughter to be sure to keep the phone with her, particularly when she is with Mommy. His spying makes me feel eerie. We are divorced, so why does he want to know where I am? What should I do?

Carolyn Answers…

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Whether you are a working parent or stay-at-home mom or dad, each role comes with a huge set of responsibilities. Being a family lawyer, I can only offer one perspective centered around achieving that work/family balance everyone always talks about. I’m not sure the perfect balance exists and have quickly learned that for me, it’s more of a day by day approach, kind of like March Madness – survive and advance. Below are some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

Be present. Whether you’re at work or at home, maximize your time at each by being present in the moment. When you’re at the office, try not to think of the disaster that is your house. When you’re at home, focus on enjoying family time and do your best to leave work at work.

There’s no place for guilt. Feeling guilty for missing time with your kids or feeling guilty for not being able to work late does nothing but cause more stress. There are so many things in life that cause us worry; this should not be one of them. Trust in yourself! It doesn’t matter if you work or stay home, your children look to you as their role model. They watch every move you make and listen to every word you say. Do not feel guilty for the role you have chosen as both provide your children with positive learning experiences!

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