Articles Posted in Custody

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Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I reluctantly entered into a consent child custody order with the mother of my child in 2013. We were never married and never actually lived together. The child is now five having been born in 2011. I get visitation under the 2013 order, but the court never heard any evidence in 2013. We simply agreed. Now, I am very concerned this mother is unfit. She continues to smoke around the child who has asthma. She also has been charged with drug possession in both 2012 and recently. She will not let me have a relationship with my kid. She threatens to move out of state. There are things I need to tell the court about from the child’s birth until 2013 (date of current custody order), but my attorney says I cannot use the 2011 to 2013 evidence in my motion to modify custody. I want primary custody with the mother having supervised visitation. Is there any way I can present the proof of what this mother was like from 2011 to 2013? I think the mother of my child is unfit. What can I do?

– Worried about unfit mother

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Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I am the father of two children, ages 10 and 12.  The mother of the children lives in West Virginia, where she moved after our divorce. The children were born and always have lived in North Carolina. The North Carolina order for custody allows the children to travel to West Virginia for 5 weeks in the summer. Last year the mother did not return the children when she was supposed to at the end of the summer, and the court here held mother in contempt. She filed for custody in West Virginia last summer claiming fictitious abuse of one child, but that case in West Virginia was dismissed. Then, I got them back. I heard that this might be kidnapping under some federal law. Can you explain kidnapping and whether I have any right with regard to kidnapping if this happens this summer?

– Frustrated and Looking for Options

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Dear Carolyn,

I am a father of a beautiful 8-year-old daughter and a handsome 10-year-old son.  I live here, but the mother lives in California.  The mother has custody, but the children will be visiting with me for the last two weeks of July and the first two weeks of August. While I don’t have much time given the distance between the mother’s house and mine, I really want to make the time count that I do have.  I can take two of the weeks off from work, but I have to work two of the weeks.  What suggestions do you have?

– Dedicated Dad

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Dear Carolyn,

I have a two year old daughter and the mother and I are facing a custody trial. The mother, in my opinion, has some mental disorders and has been treated for long-term depression. The mother breast fed, and mother and daughter are close.  I feel, however, that I am the better custodial parent.  Will the daughter’s age and sex keep me from being a custodial parent until she is older? Will the court listen to me, or am I just out of luck until my daughter is older?

– Dad

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Hi, Ms. Carolyn

My wife and I need some advice. In 2009, we had to see a judge in a matter of a 50B taken out by my stepson’s father based upon alleged child abuse. The 50B judge said that we would revisit the 50B issue after DSS finished their investigation, but it was never resolved. The father of my stepson let him stay with us after it happened.  We waited a month, and the father’s lawyer withdrew. The Judge dropped the 50B case due to the father not moving forward with the 50B. I checked a box on a DSS form saying that I was not admitting any guilt with DSS.  DSS never did an investigation. DSS apparently found abuse in the home because a year before (2008) my wife got mad, and took out a 50B on me. My wife then dropped the 50B. Then, my stepson’s father got a hold of the 50B my wife filed and dropped and DSS went with the decision based on my wife’s 50B.  Can DSS base a case on my wife’s dropped 50B?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn,

My ex is all over Facebook about what she did with the kids during Spring Break. She apparently took some young woman with her to babysit so she could spend more time with her boyfriend on the Florida beach. She posted my little boy “buck naked” on the beach on Facebook. She posted her “babysitter—young woman” drinking beer with at least a dozen empty beer cans in the background. She posted a picture of her boyfriend and her entwined on the beach on a blanket. And to top it all off, she posted a picture of her new engagement ring from him, and we are not even divorced. I have filed for custody of the two children. She wants alimony. Are the pictures I downloaded from Facebook admissible? Can I make her remove the nude picture of my son as I am worried about perverts? Do these Facebook pictures help me in my quest for custody and no spousal support? I am frustrated with the whole process.

Dear Frustrated,

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Dear Carolyn,

I believe I am the Father of a son, but the Mother is married to someone else.  I dated Mother while she and her husband were separated, but now they are back together.   We had sex during the time we were dating and the child was born 9 months later—perfect timing for the child to be mine. Mother and Mother’s husband will not let me see the child, and quite frankly, hide him from me.  I want to see my son.  What can I do?  I do not have any other children.

~ Bewildered Father

 

Dear Bewildered,

You have a chance for visitation, and here’s what you will need to do.  North Carolina has a very strong presumption that a child born of and during a marriage is the child of the Husband to the marriage.   You will have to file a lawsuit asking for visitation and asking that the presumption be overcome.

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Dear Carolyn,

I have been reading the horrid stories about children being left in hot cars. I also have been troubled by my next door neighbor leaving her seven-year-old son alone this summer while she goes to work. I have seen this mother lock the door when she leaves in the morning with the child apparently inside. I do think the seven-year-old has a cell phone.  I don’t like this situation for the seven-year-old who just finished first grade. Is there anything I can do?

~ Danger Lurking Next Door

 

Dear Danger,

Ohhhhhh! It is a crime for someone to leave a child under eight years of age unattended. Further, a child under age eight cannot be left locked up, as this is also a crime. Children under eight years of age must be left with a supervisor of suitable age and discretion. The parent can and will be prosecuted. The placement in the law of this statute is interesting as it is presented as a “fire protection” for little children. However, I do believe that leaving an unattended child under eight in a car would be a crime under this statute as well. (North Carolina General Statutes 14-318.)

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Dear Carolyn,

I have a two-year-old and a five-year-old, and I am separated from their Father.  I am filing for custody and divorce.  I hear I am going to have to go to mediation with the Father, and I really don’t want to see him. I am not exactly afraid of him, but it sure is unpleasant being around him.  Do I have to go to mediation, really?

~ Curious

 

Dear Curious,

You are likely going to have to go to a court ordered session of mediation to see if you can settle custody and visitation of your children with their Father.  Hopefully, the mediation process will end with a settlement and improve the situation with the children’s Father.  Do not worry as you will not

Mediation was added by the legislature to the custody statutes with five aspirational goals: (1) reducing acrimony; (2) developing custody solutions in the best interests of children; (3) providing parents with informed choices; (4) providing a structured, confidential and cooperative facility for discussion of co-parenting; and (5) reducing litigation and litigation of custody cases.

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CarolynDear Carolyn,

Now that summer is almost over and school will be starting back, I am reflecting on the summer trip with my two children, who are 9 and 11.  Their mother and I are divorced, and I am trying to make summer memories with them that will last a lifetime.  This summer we ventured to the West Coast to see the sites.  While in Flagstaff, Arizona, we saw advertisements for a place called “Bullets and Burgers” in Arizona. That reminded me of the headlines about a nine-year-old girl from New Jersey, who killed her Uzi instructor in a place like this.   I am just curious if this could happen in North Carolina.  What are the North Carolina laws on this?  Do we have places like “Bullets and Burgers” in North Carolina?  My ex is dating a guy who owns a lot of guns.  Could he take my children to such a place?

~ Curious and Concerned

 

Dear Curious and Concerned:

You are referring to a story of a 9-year-old girl from New Jersey who was on a family vacation in Arizona. This story received lots of attention in the legal arena and in legal publications.  Her family took her to the place called “Bullets and Burgers.”  She was assigned an instructor and shot a single shot weapon without any trouble.  The instructor then let her shoot an Uzi automatic weapon that shoots 600 rounds per minute. She lost control of the Uzi, shooting and killing her instructor, inadvertently.  No charges were filed and the accident was ruled to be an “industrial accident.”             Continue reading →