Articles Tagged with after divorce

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

It’s summertime, and that means kids around Greensboro will be beating the heat. But they probably won’t be hanging out at the pool or lake like their parents did. It’s more likely they will be huddled around their electronic devices playing video games or watching YouTube. The World Health Organization has recently classified addiction to video games as a certified mental disorder. Our children are particularly susceptible during the summer months when they are out of school and have less structured activities.

The signs of video game addiction are disturbingly quite similar to other addictions such as exercise addiction or sex addiction. If your child has difficulty talking or even thinking about anything other than video games, then they might have a problem. The problem is exacerbated by the gaming designers attempting to make their games psychologically addicting purposely. As with drug and alcohol addictions, they may have such a compulsion to play that they let school work lag and their grooming and hygiene begin to suffer.

In the beginning, gamers may be satisfied to play one or two hours at a time; however as they become more addicted, they crave much longer sessions. Some children have to be physically removed from a game console, or they will play continuously. As the addiction worsens they frequently suffer from significant weight gain or weight loss, sleep disruptions, mood changes, sleep deprivation, Avoiding friends and family members. They may begin lying about the time spent playing video games and start skipping meals. Shoddy work and academic performance should also set off alarm bells.

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

Divorce is never easy. It turns your world upside down. Ending a relationship you thought was to last till death forces you to part is emotionally devastating. When you are a parent, and throw children into that emotional turmoil, then you have to deal with a hurricane of guilt and remorse.

However, we are parents and parents must be strong, we must be there for our kids when they need us. We won’t be legally able to spend as much time with our children as before the divorce, so what time we have must be devoted to them.

I have two children. My first daughter was 9 when left her mother in 2005. I still feel guilty about choosing to leave the home where my child and I formed that bond that a father and daughter share.

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Venn Crawford, non-attorney Marketing Assistant

Looking for a new way to organize or connect? Here are some of the best apps for families.

Apps for Organization

Stridepost – This family managing app features chore lists, allowance trackers, and a family calendar, all of which sync across devices so that the whole family’s on the same page. Parents can add tasks to a child’s to-do list, which the child then receives points for completing. At the end of the week, kids get their “payday” and collect the points, which are redeemable for rewards. Both parents and kids can add rewards. Both kids and parents can add events to the shared family calendar, and family members can keep each other updated using the built-in family chat. (For parents: iOS, Android; for kids: iOS, Android)

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

I reluctantly entered into a consent child custody order with the mother of my child in 2013. We were never married and never actually lived together. The child is now five having been born in 2011. I get visitation under the 2013 order, but the court never heard any evidence in 2013. We simply agreed. Now, I am very concerned this mother is unfit. She continues to smoke around the child who has asthma. She also has been charged with drug possession in both 2012 and recently. She will not let me have a relationship with my kid. She threatens to move out of state. There are things I need to tell the court about from the child’s birth until 2013 (date of current custody order), but my attorney says I cannot use the 2011 to 2013 evidence in my motion to modify custody. I want primary custody with the mother having supervised visitation. Is there any way I can present the proof of what this mother was like from 2011 to 2013? I think the mother of my child is unfit. What can I do?

– Worried about unfit mother

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

I have received spousal alimony since a 2003 court order until death. I would like to get an increase because of the economy. My ex-spouse receives three times my social security and retirement. His home is paid for and he owes three motor vehicles. His social security and retirement from a big local company is great. I received zero from this after 38 years of marriage. He was in Management. What are my chances of getting an increase?

Carolyn Answers:

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

I am the father of two children, ages 10 and 12.  The mother of the children lives in West Virginia, where she moved after our divorce. The children were born and always have lived in North Carolina. The North Carolina order for custody allows the children to travel to West Virginia for 5 weeks in the summer. Last year the mother did not return the children when she was supposed to at the end of the summer, and the court here held mother in contempt. She filed for custody in West Virginia last summer claiming fictitious abuse of one child, but that case in West Virginia was dismissed. Then, I got them back. I heard that this might be kidnapping under some federal law. Can you explain kidnapping and whether I have any right with regard to kidnapping if this happens this summer?

– Frustrated and Looking for Options

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a father of a beautiful 8-year-old daughter and a handsome 10-year-old son.  I live here, but the mother lives in California.  The mother has custody, but the children will be visiting with me for the last two weeks of July and the first two weeks of August. While I don’t have much time given the distance between the mother’s house and mine, I really want to make the time count that I do have.  I can take two of the weeks off from work, but I have to work two of the weeks.  What suggestions do you have?

– Dedicated Dad

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn:

My ex and I share the children fifty-fifty.  We have three children.  I make approximately $25,000 more than the other parent.  I pay child support even though I have them half the time.  Our child support order says nothing about who gets the dependency exemptions, and I get in a fight with my ex every year over the dependency exemptions.  Who should get the three dependency exemptions?

Carolyn Answers….

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

I work and make a good income.  During our marriage, my wife worked for a while, but stopped when we had children.  She has and maintains a CPA license.  We have a 15-year-old with some discipline problems and ADHD.  We are divorcing, and I think she should go back to work.  She wants alimony.  Who is right?  Does she need to work, or can she just continue to be a leech?

– Anti-Leech

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Carolyn Woodruff, J.D., C.P.A, C.V.A.

Dear Carolyn,

My ex is receiving alimony, which I obviously do not want to pay.  She has a son, by another marriage, who is a heroin addict.  My ex-wife began dating shortly after our divorce, and she seems quite entrenched with this guy.  He stays over at my ex’s on some weekends, but he does still have his own apartment.  I know he has a key to my ex’s house, and I know he stayed there four weeks when the heroin addict was in rehabilitation.   My court order for alimony says that the alimony terminates upon cohabitation or remarriage.  Will the court terminate my alimony?  Is my ex cohabiting?

                – Sorry to be paying alimony