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Dear Carolyn,

My husband is having an affair with his secretary and I want to get that woman.  I kicked him out of our home on New Year’s Day when he made an excuse that he had to go by the office for something (something? Right?), and my detective caught them red-handed.  I hear about alienation of affection.  Do I qualify?  How much do you think I’ll get?

 

Carolyn Answers:

While you need to have a family lawyer go over your evidence, you may have a claim for both criminal conversation AND alienation of affection against the secretary.  Alienation of affection requires (1) that you and your spouse had a genuine marital relationship; (2) that your spousal love was destroyed; (3) that the secretary caused the breakup of the genuine marital relationship; and (4) that you have damages.

Criminal conversation does not have to do with any crime we actually punish today. The requirements for criminal conversation are two-fold:  (1) sex (2) with someone’s spouse.  That’s it.

No one can really say how much you might get. Juries generally decide these issues, and juries can really vary and view these issues differently.  It is attention-grabbing that there have been some very large awards in North Carolina reported in both the North Carolina Supreme Court as well as the North Carolina Court of Appeals and literature.

Affairs also can affect alimony, as in the question below:

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