Articles Tagged with Ask Carolyn

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Carolyn Woodruff

Dear Carolyn,

I am a grandmother, and I want to help pay for the tuition for my grandchild’s day care and education at a nice day care facility.  Then, my daughter and son-in-law can work without worry.  They own their own business, and they both need to focus some quality time on the business, while maintaining my grandson as top priority.  My toddler grandson will benefit from the education and interaction with the other children at this particular day care, but it is darn expensive.  Should I give the money directly to my daughter or to the day care?  Is there a tax advantage one way or another?

           – Grandmother of the best grandchild ever…

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Dear Carolyn:

My ex and I share the children fifty-fifty.  We have three children.  I make approximately $25,000 more than the other parent.  I pay child support even though I have them half the time.  Our child support order says nothing about who gets the dependency exemptions, and I get in a fight with my ex every year over the dependency exemptions.  Who should get the three dependency exemptions?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn,

I work and make a good income.  During our marriage, my wife worked for a while, but stopped when we had children.  She has and maintains a CPA license.  We have a 15-year-old with some discipline problems and ADHD.  We are divorcing, and I think she should go back to work.  She wants alimony.  Who is right?  Does she need to work, or can she just continue to be a leech?

– Anti-Leech

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Dear Carolyn,

I have a cousin, Bernie, who lives in another North Carolina city. She is mid-30s, professionally employed and has two school-aged sons who are involved in numerous sports, school and community activities. My cousin spends the majority of her free time working with and for her kids.

Her problem is her husband, who was obtained through an unanticipated pregnancy. He is very under-employed and is a slob who spend his free time on the couch or in bed and does just about nothing to help around the house or with the kids. Worse, he had never contributed a dime toward their (nice) house, including the mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities or other expenses. She has paid for it all and the mortgage is in her name as he had/has no credit. He is emotionally abusive to my cousin and had a recent, well-documented affair.

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Dear Carolyn,

I have a two year old daughter and the mother and I are facing a custody trial. The mother, in my opinion, has some mental disorders and has been treated for long-term depression. The mother breast fed, and mother and daughter are close.  I feel, however, that I am the better custodial parent.  Will the daughter’s age and sex keep me from being a custodial parent until she is older? Will the court listen to me, or am I just out of luck until my daughter is older?

– Dad

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Dear Carolyn,

My ex is receiving alimony, which I obviously do not want to pay.  She has a son, by another marriage, who is a heroin addict.  My ex-wife began dating shortly after our divorce, and she seems quite entrenched with this guy.  He stays over at my ex’s on some weekends, but he does still have his own apartment.  I know he has a key to my ex’s house, and I know he stayed there four weeks when the heroin addict was in rehabilitation.   My court order for alimony says that the alimony terminates upon cohabitation or remarriage.  Will the court terminate my alimony?  Is my ex cohabiting?

                – Sorry to be paying alimony

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Dear Carolyn,

I am separated.  We were only married two years before separating. She is having an affair.  I bought my wife a huge engagement ring, which I gave to her before the wedding.  I still owe $25,000 on the ring, which was borrowed before we got married.  We paid on the ring during the marriage out of my earnings.  My ex will not give back the ring.  What are my options?

– Help Me!

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Dear Carolyn,

My heart is broken. The mother of my children has bad-mouthed me so much and talked about our nasty divorce to the children so much that the children won’t talk to me or visit with me. She has poisoned their minds. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers….

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Hi, Ms. Carolyn

My wife and I need some advice. In 2009, we had to see a judge in a matter of a 50B taken out by my stepson’s father based upon alleged child abuse. The 50B judge said that we would revisit the 50B issue after DSS finished their investigation, but it was never resolved. The father of my stepson let him stay with us after it happened.  We waited a month, and the father’s lawyer withdrew. The Judge dropped the 50B case due to the father not moving forward with the 50B. I checked a box on a DSS form saying that I was not admitting any guilt with DSS.  DSS never did an investigation. DSS apparently found abuse in the home because a year before (2008) my wife got mad, and took out a 50B on me. My wife then dropped the 50B. Then, my stepson’s father got a hold of the 50B my wife filed and dropped and DSS went with the decision based on my wife’s 50B.  Can DSS base a case on my wife’s dropped 50B?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn,

My wife keeps threatening me with a 50B.  We do argue, but I have never laid a hand on her or even threatened her.  She says in court it will be her word against mine.  Is there anything I can do to protect myself?  I don’t want to go to jail.

Carolyn answers: