Articles Tagged with coparenting

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

It’s summertime, and that means kids around Greensboro will be beating the heat. But they probably won’t be hanging out at the pool or lake like their parents did. It’s more likely they will be huddled around their electronic devices playing video games or watching YouTube. The World Health Organization has recently classified addiction to video games as a certified mental disorder. Our children are particularly susceptible during the summer months when they are out of school and have less structured activities.

The signs of video game addiction are disturbingly quite similar to other addictions such as exercise addiction or sex addiction. If your child has difficulty talking or even thinking about anything other than video games, then they might have a problem. The problem is exacerbated by the gaming designers attempting to make their games psychologically addicting purposely. As with drug and alcohol addictions, they may have such a compulsion to play that they let school work lag and their grooming and hygiene begin to suffer.

In the beginning, gamers may be satisfied to play one or two hours at a time; however as they become more addicted, they crave much longer sessions. Some children have to be physically removed from a game console, or they will play continuously. As the addiction worsens they frequently suffer from significant weight gain or weight loss, sleep disruptions, mood changes, sleep deprivation, Avoiding friends and family members. They may begin lying about the time spent playing video games and start skipping meals. Shoddy work and academic performance should also set off alarm bells.

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Mark Griffin, M.E., Blog Writer

Divorce is never easy. It turns your world upside down. Ending a relationship you thought was to last till death forces you to part is emotionally devastating. When you are a parent, and throw children into that emotional turmoil, then you have to deal with a hurricane of guilt and remorse.

However, we are parents and parents must be strong, we must be there for our kids when they need us. We won’t be legally able to spend as much time with our children as before the divorce, so what time we have must be devoted to them.

I have two children. My first daughter was 9 when left her mother in 2005. I still feel guilty about choosing to leave the home where my child and I formed that bond that a father and daughter share.

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Hi, Ms. Carolyn

My wife and I need some advice. In 2009, we had to see a judge in a matter of a 50B taken out by my stepson’s father based upon alleged child abuse. The 50B judge said that we would revisit the 50B issue after DSS finished their investigation, but it was never resolved. The father of my stepson let him stay with us after it happened.  We waited a month, and the father’s lawyer withdrew. The Judge dropped the 50B case due to the father not moving forward with the 50B. I checked a box on a DSS form saying that I was not admitting any guilt with DSS.  DSS never did an investigation. DSS apparently found abuse in the home because a year before (2008) my wife got mad, and took out a 50B on me. My wife then dropped the 50B. Then, my stepson’s father got a hold of the 50B my wife filed and dropped and DSS went with the decision based on my wife’s 50B.  Can DSS base a case on my wife’s dropped 50B?

Carolyn Answers….

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Dear Carolyn,

I have tried co-parenting our seven and eleven-year-old, and it is just not working. My psychologist says my ex is probably a narcissist. Every time I try to talk with him or even text him, he turns the discussion into something else.  He seems to have no concept of teamwork. He manipulates the children and that scares me. What can I do?

Carolyn Answers…

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Dear Carolyn,

I share custody of our son with my ex-husband. Another school year is about the begin. I dread the issues with homework. As my son gets older and homework gets more important, there has to be something we can do as parents to make sure homework is both done consistently and turned in consistently. My ex is a little more concerned with fun at his house that homework, although he is a pretty good father. What are homework guidelines for sharing custody every other week during the school year?

Carolyn Answers…

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Venn Crawford, non-attorney Marketing Assistant

Divorce and its aftermath can be (and usually are) chaotic. Having kids and keeping track of all their things was tough enough, and now you have to coordinate your parenting with someone you may not even want to talk to, much less strategize with. And on top of it all, you have to manage everything on your own. Talk about a trial by fire.

Luckily for you, there’s an app for that. Or several. These apps can’t do it all for you, but they can make things easier.

SquareHub (Free)

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Dear Carolyn,

Visitation exchanges are almost always awful for my eight-year-old when the exchange is not at school.  I am a Father with fifty-percent custody.  I have Mondays and Tuesdays overnight.  My ex has Wednesdays and Thursdays overnight. We alternate weekends.

When school is out, we do the exchange at a local fast food restaurant.  My ex almost always brings her new boyfriend with her, and he almost always says something “smart” or derogatory toward or about me.  I have emailed my ex to stop these and I have asked her not to bring him.  My eight-year-old hears this nonsense.  What should I do?

~ Exchange Woes

 

Dear Exchange Woes,

It is obvious that it is not in the best interest of your child to hear the adults around him or her bickering during visitation exchanges. Your child is part of both you and your ex, and as such, he or she probably is stressed to hear derogatory comments about his or her father. Visitation exchanges should be happy for the child preparing to spend time with the other parent.

In Randolph County, several years ago, the news reported a tragedy at a visitation exchange from which we can learn.  Mom and Dad both had someone else with them at the visitation exchange.  The two other people got into an argument at the exchange, and one of the two other people at the exchange shot the other one (non-fatal shooting).   Apparently, the child apparently witnessed this shooting.

So, what should the rules be for visitation exchanges when the parents just do not get along, or there are other troublemakers, such as your ex’s new boyfriend?

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s.andrew headshotBy Sarah Andrew, Blog Writer, Woodruff Family Law Group

Everyone knows that the best thing about Halloween—besides the mountain of free candy—is the opportunity to transform, at least for the night, into a superhero or a Disney princess or a delightfully spooky creature. (Or, if your parents are at all like mine, into one-half of old-timey comedy duo Laurel and Hardy, with a bowler hat, a fake mustache, and a pillow stuffed under your button-down.) With the exception of nine-year-old me, who wasn’t thrilled to traipse through her Greensboro neighborhood as a middle-aged man, most kids would jump at a second chance to wear their costumes and celebrate all over again.

But what if you’re the parent whose custody begins a day or two after trick-or-treating ends? Ringing doorbells after November 1 is more likely to lead to dark porch lights and raised eyebrows than to another heaping bucketful of chocolate, and most community events are limited to Halloween itself. Here are some ideas for conjuring up a little ghoulish magic on other nights of the year.

Roll up your sleeves. Everyone’s favorite candy is about to go on sale, so stock up on as many variety packs as you can carry. Fun-size chocolate bars are perfect for baking into cupcakes, or for simply popping back while you wait for the timer to go off. If you don’t trust your kids—or yourself—around an oven, you can opt for a perennial favorite: dirt cups. What’s more fun than crushing a bag of Oreos with a rolling pin? If you’re feeling adventurous, make a full-sized dirt pie. And, of course, try to trick everyone into eating at least a little something healthy by insisting that the peeled grapes are actually eyeballs.

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