Can a North Carolina Judge Reject Parents’ Agreement on Equal Custody?

It can be such a relief to find common ground with your child’s other parent, especially if you disagree on just about everything else. And if you both tell a judge equal custody is best, you might expect the final order to reflect that agreement.

But the court also has a duty to think about the welfare of your child. In McGraw v. Mayer, the North Carolina Court of Appeals provided an explanation of why the shared preferences of parents do not answer the custody question.

Background of McGraw v. Mayer

Honoree McGraw and Matthew Mayer started dating in December 2021, but their relationship deteriorated during McGraw’s pregnancy, and their daughter was born in December 2022. To protect the child’s identity, the opinion refers to her as “Faye.”

McGraw sought sole legal custody and sole physical custody. Mayer sought joint legal custody and joint physical custody. In March 2023, the court issued a temporary agreement granting them joint legal custody and a schedule in which Mayer had Faye a few days a week.

But after a November hearing, the trial court awarded Mayer sole legal custody and primary physical custody. McGraw was granted secondary physical custody.

McGraw appealed, claiming the judge ignored a binding agreement to share custody equally. She also challenged numerous factual findings supporting the decision.

Did the Judge Have to Follow Their Agreement?

The Court of Appeals said no. The parents had both expressed support for equal custody at the hearing, but those statements did not bind the judge.

Parents may agree to an arrangement they think will work. The court, however, has the power to decide what it feels is in the best interest of their child. An agreement is not going to absolve that responsibility.

The appellate court also rejected the presumption that joint legal custody was the presumptive outcome. Legal custody is about making important decisions about a child’s life and welfare. Physical custody is about the care of and living arrangements for the child.

North Carolina courts must consider joint custody if either parent requests it. That doesn’t mean a judge has to give it.

McGraw also argued she had no notice that Mayer could be awarded sole legal custody. The appellate court disagreed, since legal custody was already before the court and Mayer had sought any other relief the judge deemed necessary.

Why Did the Custody Decision Stand?

The trial court made findings regarding communication problems, medical care, and interference with the father-daughter relationship. It found McGraw imposed unreasonable visitation conditions and used medical providers and records to disparage Mayer, interfering with his opportunity to bond with Faye.

McGraw challenged those findings and the credibility assessment of the court. But appellate judges usually give way to the trial judge’s ability to see the witnesses and weigh conflicting testimony.

An appeal is not an opportunity to re-evaluate whose account is more believable. When competent evidence supports a finding, conflicting evidence doesn’t automatically make that finding invalid.

The Court of Appeals did acknowledge that some findings lacked support in the record. Those errors did not require reversal because the findings were unnecessary to support the custody decision.

Ultimately, however, McGraw failed to prove that the order was so arbitrary that it could not have been the result of a reasoned decision. The appellate court affirmed, upholding the custody arrangement.

What Does This Mean for Parents?

McGraw demonstrates why an agreement in favor of equal custody does not guarantee that outcome at a contested hearing. The court’s decision is still based on the best interests of the child and the evidence.

The outcome of custody proceedings can affect your daily relationship with your child, and this can be understandably very overwhelming. If you have any questions about a proposed arrangement or a scheduled hearing, please reach out to the Woodruff Family Law Group. When you contact us, we can talk about your situation and help you learn about your options.